I'm glad I did write some of my life journey in this blog so I can re-read them and see how much I've made so far.
2021 for me was of appreciating little things more which I also highlighted that in this blog's URL. Well, I did. I can call it quite a success although it took me the whole year to learn and re-learn about it. I'd say it's a year of finally finding out more about appreciating -- even on some things that didn't work out. So many things happened in a year and who would have guessed that those will happen kan? Thank God for the things in the past whether they were good or bad. Alhamdulillah, thank God for every person I met throughout the year. They added up to the person I am today. <3
I admit that I'm not yet the best version of me but one thing I realised is that I used to try hard on pleasing everyone (literally everyone in my life) which I didn't know what for (guess I've had been a people-pleaser haha hard to admit but ok je lah) tapi 2021 taught me to put boundaries in whatever relationship it is -- there has to be limit cuz' I can't afford losing myself just to please people. I mean, that's tiring, been there. It is okay to lose some people if the energy does not reciprocate than to lose yourself. By losing, I don't mean cutting ties with them. Just set them free and if they happen to stay, well, let me know! (might let you in again, there's no harm with trying again kan?)
Ah, there's just so much if you want me to elaborate. I ada banyak benda lagi nak cerita.
That being said, 2021 was a self-discovery kinda year since I happened to spend a lot of time alone. I banyak try & error with myself, going out and chilling on my own and at one point, I sedar that I can enjoy my own company but at the same time I can't always afford to be alone all the time -- I long for connection walaupun kadang my social battery runs out. I suka ada background noise walaupun kadang I get annoyed haha. I takleh kalau tak buat apa apa or have nothing to look forward. I have to look forward for things. I have to look for me.
Oh, and I sebenarnya signed up for a character improvement class in 2021 and part paling best, class tu boleh recharge every month & I learnt a lot about myself. I started to understand why I sometimes behave camtu and camni & I started to improve. Tapi, I tengah belajar lagi pasal orang sekeliling, to really understand them fuh susah babe sebab kena buang ego. You think getting rid of ego senang? It's a process, it will take time.
Moving forward to this year, 2022, inshaAllah it's gonna be a year of prioritising my happiness, peace & prosperity & also a year of keeping the consistency in whatever I do.
Before ni I selalu dengar orang cakap pasal self-love & I thought I dah faham dah the concept & I thought I did apply it but turned out it wasn't really for me. It wasn't genuinely for me. So, 2022 is about making it genuine. Really put the three main things: my happiness, peace & prosperity on top of the list (at the same time try to balance it with the happiness of my parents, sibs & my loved one).
and of course to achieve that, I ada banyak sub-goals yang I have to tick off & the sub-goals are private though.
InshaAllah, bismillah to 2022!! May we all get closer to Allah each passing day this year. Penat la lose track, let's have faith inshaAllah. ❤️
til next time!
p/s: hey, if you happen to read this, I wanna let you know that I don't mind to try again, we can try again.
